Without
by Cherie Posas
Summary: What if Edward and Bella didn't meet until Bella was bitten? And Bella runs off on her own. What will happen? Will Bella and Edward be together? Is their love strong enough to bring them together?
1. Footsteps

**WITHOUT**

**CHAPTER 1: Footsteps (BELLA POV)**

It's September; it's warm out tonight. The sun has already set and it's now dark, nice night for a walk. I'd done this many times before, so there was nothing off about tonight. I usually walked at night to relax, let off stress from the day.

There weren't many people out due to how late it was. I didn't mind; it was peaceful.

After a while, I noticed that there are footsteps behind me, to which I don't pay any mind. The steps increased in pace, getting closer. Still, this doesn't seem to be any threat to me.

Soon the hooded figure walking behind calls out to me, "Hey!" Surely he can't be talking to me? Who is he? "Excuse me?" He calls out again, closer this time.

I looked back and noticed he has increased his pace, quickly closing the gap between the two of us.

I began to quicken my pace in order to, maybe, find somewhere to go? It's late; I doubt anything is open right now.

I look back again, he's getting closer now.

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

**A/N: I know this was extremely short, as will be the next two chapters, but this was my first FanFic so I was a little unsure as to where this would go. So I hope you keep reading as it does get longer. And better. Thanks so much. -Cherie-**


	2. Attacker

**WITHOUT**

**CHAPTER 2: Attacker (BELLA POV)**

_I look back again, he's getting closer now. _

**xxxxx**

The footsteps get faster. He's even closer, I can feel it. I can hear his breathing. What did he want with me?

I didn't do anything, I was just walking. I don't even know who he is.

I turned quickly onto a main street, it's empty; no cars and no people.

He calls out again, "Hey!" louder and with a hint of anger in his voice. He's right behind me now.

My mind quickly flooded with memories from a self defense class I once took. How to incapacitate your attacker: Eye gouges, pressure points, and which way to hold your hand when trying to smash the attackers nose into his brain.

I locked my jaw and braced myself as I turned to face my attacker; no one. Only silence. The noise and footsteps have stopped. Where did he go?

That's when two cold hands grab me. One hand is holding my shoulder down and the other is holding my head, tilted to the side.

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

**A/N: Again I know this was extremely short, but as I said, they do get longer. I promise! I hope you keep reading. Thanks so much. -Cherie-**


	3. Bite

**WITHOUT**

**CHAPTER 3: Bite (BELLA POV)**

_That's when two cold hands grab me. One hand is holding my shoulder down and the other is holding my __head, tilted to the side._

_**xxxxx**_

The next thing I feel is a sharp, piercing pain shooting up my neck and down the right side of my body.

I can hear him growling in my ear and a suckling sound escaping his mouth.

I feel a warm liquid run down my collar bone and shoulder. Blood. That's when I realize he's bitten into my neck.

My breathing has begun to slow and I feel like someone has injected my veins with an icy sedative that enables my body to move an inch.

Soon he let's go and I fall to the cold concrete. I manage to open my eyes and look up at the man who has left me to face my death. My vision is dim and blurry, but I can see him standing over me; he's just watching, as if debating on whether or not to walk away? Why would he do this to me and just walk away?

He leans down and a hiss escapes his lips. I tried to move but I was frozen in the spot I fell to. What's he going to do?

He reached for me as if to grab my throat again, but stops.

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

**A/N: This was the last short chapter. They are longer from here on out! Thank you so much for reading! I hope you are enjoying it! -Cherie-**


	4. Savior & Fire

**WITHOUT**

**CHAPTER 4: Savior & Fire (BELLA POV) **

_He reached for me as if to grab my throat again, but stops._

**xxxxx**

Out of nowhere I hear a loud growl. My attacker looks up, stands up strait then crouches down to lunge at something. He lets out another hiss and deep growl.

Something growls back.

And within the blink of an eye, my attacker is gone and a new figure began to appear above me. No, not again, I began to panic and tried to move away.

"Miss? Miss! Are you okay? Can you hear me?" A velvety voice called out to me. It sounded muffled even though he was standing right over me.

"NO, no, please." I tried to scream but it came out more of a whisper. My body was weak, I still couldn't move.

The dark figure standing above me reached down and picked me up, "It's gonna be okay." I heard him whisper in my ear, holding me away from his body. It was almost as if he was afraid to hurt me anymore, or break me even. I could feel his hands, they were cold; very similar to the feel my attackers hands had.

I began to struggle in his arms, afraid of what he might do? I wanted to scream but I couldn't find the strength to get the sound out. I started kicking my legs and hitting the voice with my fists on his chest.

"Please let me go. I won't tell anybody anything, please. Just let me go." I begged him in a weak voice, hoping he would just leave me alone.

"Shh, shh, it's okay." He began to try to soothe me, "I'm not going to hurt you. I'm gonna get help. I know someone that can help you. Please be still." The voice pleaded softly.

Due to what could only be massive blood loss and possibly a state of shock, I began to relax in his arms and can only assume I passed out. One minute I was in his arms on a dark, empty street, and the next I can see the faint ray of light. There's noise and movement, where was I?

I was lying on a bed when I felt myself flinch to the feel of another set of cold hands on my neck and shoulder.

The owner of the soft, velvet voice was there to reassure me that everything was okay, "It's okay, you're safe. I've brought you to the hospital to have someone look at you. This is Dr. Cullen. He will be able to help and explain what is happening to you." I felt his breath on my face as he spoke to me. It was almost intoxicating.

I noticed that another soft voice began to speak to me, "Hello? Miss can you hear me? Say something if you can hear me."

"What happened?" My voice was weak and shaky and it was all I managed to get out.

Although I had so many questions, questions such as; who was the man who attacked me? What did he want? Why did he do it? And who was this stranger with the soft, captivating voice who went out of his way to help me?

"Where am I? Please help me." I continued aloud.

"Okay, calm down. You're safe. You should rest; your body has been through a traumatic event and needs to rest in order to heal. You are gonna be in quite a bit of pain for a while; I've given you a small dose of morphine, that might help but I'm not absolutely certain. I'm sorry there's not really anything else I can do. Just try to stay calm and relaxed. I really am sorry." Dr. Cullen spoke in a soft tone, almost a whisper; I could barely make out what he was saying.

He turned to the man sitting next to me, "Call me when you need me." and with that, he walked out of the room.

I felt myself drift off to sleep, my body relaxing as much as it could. I could once again feel a sharp pain forming in my neck, much like the one that shot through me when I was bitten.

I could feel it slowly running the course of my veins like before, only quicker and with more intensity. This pain was more like fire in my veins instead of ice. The fire shot throughout all of my body; from head to toe.

It was excruciatingly painful! The morphine wasn't working! Was there nothing else I could have to help with the pain?

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

**A/N: Hello all. I hope you all are liking this story. It gets even longer as we go so bare with me. -Cherie-**


	5. Confusion

**WITHOUT**

**CHAPTER 5: Confusion (EDWARD POV)**

I watched her as she lay there; in so much pain yet ever so still.

I remember the pain being unbearable. I remember tossing and screaming for it to end. And here she lies ever so still as if peacefully sleeping.

She took my breath away. I watched the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed in and out. I counted each breath as the time passed.

My eyes ran over her face assessing every feature. I could feel her body heat radiating from her. I could smell the most mouthwatering scent emanating off her slender body. The scent was so strong yet it was fading. I could only imagine what it once was. Her lips looked so soft and warm. I imagined lightly tracing them with the tips of my fingers.

I struggled to understand the feelings that seemed to take over me, there were no words strong enough to describe them. I drowned in these feeling oblivious as to why I was having them. Feelings of a strong, almost magnetic pull to this fragile, unimportant human I had never met.

For the past eighty-eight years I spent my life numb to almost everything, from all raw emotion and then she comes along and changes everything. Why? What was so special about her? I've met many women in my existence and no one has affected e the way she is right now.

Who was she? My life was an unending, unchanging midnight, so how was it possible the sun was rising now? Now, in the middle of my midnight?

It almost pained me to watch her lying there suffering.

When I surfaced from the overwhelming feelings, I could feel that I was no longer the same. I needed to know her. But even more than needing to know her, I needed to be with her, to have her to myself.

With the feeling of needing to know her driving me, I began to look through her things. I found her license in the back pocket of her jeans:

**'Isabella Marie Swan, 19 Years Old**

**Forks, WA. Organ Donor'**

Her picture caught my eyes. It didn't do her justice. She had such pale skin. Her long brown hair and chocolate brown eyes stood out so strong against the smooth translucent skin. Those eyes; they were so beautiful. If I would have known her before tonight, I'm sure those eyes would have consumed me over and over again. She was absolutely mesmerizing.

"Isabella." I said softly. I turned back to look at her.

My head was swimming again with the thoughts and questions as to who she was, why I had found her, why this happened to her and whether or not she was strong enough to survive it.

A stronger feeling kept surfacing to the front part of my brain, making it hard to avoid. Again it was the feeling of wanting. I couldn't pull myself away from her. All I wanted to do was hold her and tell her I was there for her. I didn't understand it?

Why did I feel this way? I was so confused and couldn't understand my feelings, so I thought, and find the one person who may be able to help me; my father.

I walked down the stairs and down the hallway to Carlisle's office. I knocked twice on the door, waiting for

Carlisle to summon me in.

"Yes?" Carlisle answered from the other side.

I slowly walked into the dimly lit room here my father did his work away from the hospital.

"Edward, what is it? Is everything okay?" he asked silently, as he usually did.

With my ability to hear peoples thoughts, my family tended to just speak silently to me when we had one-on-one conversations. It was something we had all grown used to, it was normal...well-sort of.

"Is she okay?" He asked, a little more alert this time.

"Isabella." I said gently, but with also what I noticed to be protectiveness. I liked the way her name sounded as it rolled off my lips. I smiled to myself. "She's fine." I said as I tried to compose myself.

"Isabella?" He asked aloud this time, curiosity clear in his voice and on his face.

"I found her license." I answered as I cleared my throat and looked down. "Carlisle, I need to speak with you."

"Edward? What is it son?" Carlisle asked silently, with a confused look.

He always made me feel like I could open up so easily when he referred to me as his son.

Carlisle had found me when I was sick with the Spanish Flu, he turned me. To me he was my father; in more ways than one.

I needed him now, to help me understand this.

"I don't understand it? I feel strange. I'm having the strangest feelings toward her. I feel this...this," I paused, not knowing how to explain it fully.

"I feel this pull toward her. The feeling of not being able to keep myself from her. Of wanting to protect her. It pains m to be away from her side right now, and I don't understand why. I want so badly to return to her but know I need to stay in order to understand this."

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

**A/N: This was my hardest chapter so far. Writing from Edwards POV was harder than I thought I would be. The love he feels for her is so deep that I wanted to be sure I got it right. I hope my take on Edward was up to par with what we are used to. Thank you to all those who are continuing to read. -Cherie-**


	6. Reasons

**WITHOUT**

**CHAPTER 6: Reasons (EDWARD POV) **

_"I feel this pull toward her. The feeling of not being able to keep myself from her. Of wanting to protect her. It pains m to be away from her side right now, and I don't understand why. I want so badly to return to her but know I need to stay in order to understand this." _

**xxxxx**

Carlisle walked around his oversized Cherry Wood desk, one Esme had bought during one of her many renovations, and over to me. "I see." He looked at me with knowing eyes. "If the feeling you have for her is as strong as you say it is, and then the feeling; the _need_ to be with her, well then it can only be explained as one thing."

I looked at him, still confused as I waited for him to continue.

"Edward, you've found her." He silently stated. My head shot up, it was spinning! And if I had had a heartbeat, it would have begun to race uncontrollably at that very moment.

"You want to be with her because she is the other half of you, the part of you that has been missing for all these years. You're drawn to her so strongly because you want her. You would move mountains for her."

Now I felt like he could read _my _thoughts.

"She's your mate"

I didn't know how to comprehend what he was telling me. How could this be? If it was true, that this complete stranger: my mate; the missing part of me, then that would explain all of what I felt.

The only thing I didn't understand is how? I've never met her before in my life. Although, that is how it was for the rest of my family. None of the others had met their mate before coming into each others lives when they did.

"The feeling we have for our other half, our mate, is unlike anything we've ever experienced. It's the strongest feeling you will ever have for someone. It's almost as if your heart begins to beat again in that very moment you see them. It's a more intense feeling for our kind than it is for humans. Stronger. Binding. Edward," he looked at me intently and continued silently, "if she is your other half, you will be very happy. You will be devoted to each other from the moment you two come together, on. Inseparable." Carlisle put his hand on my shoulder.

I stood perfectly still as I tried to absorb what he was telling me.

I began to wonder out loud, "Carlisle, are you sure? I've only just met her?"

I couldn't process everything, anything. For the first time in my existence I felt overwhelmed; I couldn't pull all my thoughts together.

"Edward I know this is hard to grasp but, let me ask you this; have you ever felt this way about anyone before? Have you ever felt anything remotely close to the feelings you have for her?" he asked silently, looking me directly in my eyes.

The answer was no, to both. Other than the love I held for my mortal mother, Elizabeth, this was the first time I've felt love with this much strength for someone.

"No, of course no. That's why I don't understand it? Like I said; it's unlike anything I've ever felt."

Carlisle breathed in deeply, "That's because you hadn't found your mate. Now that you have, she's brought it all back to you. The feelings will only get stronger as time progresses. She will make you incredibly happy Edward, and you in return, will make her just as happy, if you let it happen."

I looked at my father with more questions swimming behind my eyes. "What if you're wrong?" I began to worry, "What if I'm not what she wants? What if she chooses not to stay but to leave me instead? What if she doesn't feel…?"

"Edward, my son," He cut me off before I could keep going. "you always did over analyze everything and worry too much. You have to just let things happen on their own and in their own way. We will find out what is to happen after Isabella wakes up and we explain everything to her."

He raised his hand towards the door and smiled at me while continuing silently, "Now; go back to her, I know that's where you wish to be."

I gave him a thankful smile as I turned and walked out of the room; a little faster than necessary.

He was so understanding and helpful. He was the rock of the family.

Soon I was back in the room upstairs where she slept in no time. I walked over to the bed and stood at her side, watching; waiting.

She was so beautiful, and if Carlisle was right; she was mine. _Mine_. This pale beautiful creature was all mine; mine to watch over, mine to protect, mine to have all to myself; to have by my side for the rest of my existence.

I felt the corners of my mouth pull upward into the hint of a smile as I thought the word; Mine. She was mine and I was hers, if that's what she wished.

As the time continued to pass ever so slowly, I continued to watch her sleep; waiting; very impatiently for the change to be complete. And when it was, I would be there; I would make sure I was the first one she saw. Mine.

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

**A/N: This was another hard chapter due to the fact that it was also from Edwards point of view. I wanted to say thank you to the ones who have continued to read this. I hope you are all enjoying it. Thanks so much. -Cherie-**


	7. No More Pain

**WITHOUT**

**CHAPTER 7: No More Pain (BELLA POV)**

_It was excruciatingly painful! The morphine wasn't working! Was there nothing else I could have to help with the pain? _

**xxxxx**

My hands balled up into sweaty fists and my toes began to curl due to the pain I was in. I could feel a scream forming deep within my throat but only a light whimper escaped my lips.

"Isabella?" It was the soft voice of the one who found me. How did he know my name?

As if to answer my unspoken question, the voice spoke to me again. "Isabella, can you hear me?" His voice was somehow comforting. "My name is Edward; I found your license in your pocket. I brought you to the hospital to have you looked at."

I was in such agony that I began to groan.

"Please Isabella, try to relax."

I tried to hold onto is voice as best I could in order to keep myself calm.

"I know you're in a lot of pain and I'm sorry there's nothing else I can do for you."

I opened my eyes and saw these honey colored eyes staring back at me. I felt Edwards cold hand grab and caress mine ever so softly.

"It'll be over soon." I heard him say in an almost pained voice. It kinda sounded as if he were being physically tortured.

I felt a strong connection to this stranger I had never met as he looked into my eyes. The feel of his hand holding mine, the sound of his voice and the look in his eyes were consuming.

The rest of his words faded and I drifted back into a dark unconscious state, yet still aware of the enormous amount of pain I was in. The fire stayed strong and didn't sway.

As the time passed, every now and then I managed to open my eyes a couple of times to look around. The scenery changed somewhat, but not enough for me to be able to make out exactly where I was.

There was still bright white lights on me, and I was still lying in a hospital bed. I did notice, however, a change in the wall color; it was no longer a white color but more of a pale blue. There were wooden book cases along the left wall. There must have been nearly a thousand books.

I also noticed that I was no longer in my jeans and tee; someone had changed me into a form fitting, calf length, silk, ice blue dress. What? A dress? That's strange.

What registered the most in my mind, was that every time I opened my eyes, Edward was there beside me; watching. Why? Why had he stayed? In a strange way, I was glad that he did, even though I had no clue as to who he really was. Again I began to feel strangely connected to him.

My mind began to catch up to my wondering. How long had it been? How long had I been here?

All of the sudden, out of nowhere, I felt my heart begin to race and my pulse pick up speed. I felt like my heart was going to explode. I began to scream uncontrollably. I couldn't take the pain, I had to scream; loud.

"Isabella?" Edward said with panic clear in his voice. He called out, "Carlisle, it's happening."

Wait, what was happening? What was he talking about? My mind began to race. I continued screaming. I can't take this anymore.

My back arched off the bed and again my hands balled into fists. I can't breathe! Somebody has to do something! Why aren't they doing anything?

Suddenly the fire began to pull back from the tips of my fingers, taking the pain with it. I felt my body begin to cool, as if I were being slowly dipped into ice water. I began to relax back down onto the bed as my hands and toes uncurled. It was over; the pain was gone.

I finally opened my eyes after a few minutes. The first thing I saw were those honey colored eyes staring intently at me.

"Isabella, are you okay? Can you sit up?" Edward asked as he held out his hands to help me sit up.

I took his hand and carefully picked myself up off the bed. I looked at him then at his hands, they were no longer ice cold to the touch, but almost warm. I looked down at his hands again then back up at him.

I took a quick look around, that's when I noticed I was no longer at the hospital. I was in some kind of make shift hospital room that was actually a…a study in someone's home?

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

**A/N: Hello all! I'm sorry I havent posted in a while, RL has become a little hecktick what with me getting job and everything. I hope you all forgive me. And I hope ya'll were able to read this and kinda get how it was for her the way we did in BD. These last few chapters have been a little difficult . Also, I wanted to say thank you to the ones who have continued to read this. I hope you are all enjoying it. Thanks so much. -Cherie-**


	8. Awakening

**CHAPTER 8: Awakening **

_I took a quick look around, that's when I noticed I was no longer at the hospital. I was in some kind of make shift hospital room that was actually a…a study in someone's home?_

**xxxxx**

I see Edward standing beside me and another man standing at the foot of the bed. He had his hands calmly at his sides with a curious look on his face.

As I took a closer look at both men staring closely at me, I noticed a strong resemblance in them; the eyes were the same, as was their shockingly pale skin. It was almost like powder.

They were both so beautiful. I couldn't help but ask myself again, who they were, and why had they come to my rescue?

"Hello Isabella." The man standing in front of me spoke.

"Bella." I stated in a shy voice, while looking down and biting my lower lip; something I did out of habit, when I was nervous.

"Bella. I'm Dr. Cullen; Carlisle. You've met my son Edward."

I turned to look at the stranger at my side. Edward.

"Do you mind?" Carlisle asked as he began to reach for my neck.

I flinched away from him and began to panic as he raised his hands to me.

"Please, don't be afraid. I'm not going to hurt you. I only want to check your wounds." He reassured me, raising his hands; palms facing me to show he meant no harm.

I glanced at Edward, who was now standing up against the wall beside me with his hands folded across his chest.

At first he had a pained look on his face but then gave me a reassuring look when I locked eyes with him. I'm not really sure why I trusted the look he gave me but I did.

I looked back at Carlisle and tilted my neck to the left.

He gently swept my hair from my shoulder in order to get a better look.

I waited again to feel his cool touch upon my skin. There was nothing, his skin was no longer cold either, his hands were warm like Edwards had been.

"Your wound seems to have healed quite well. How do you feel?" Carlisle asked.

Good question. How did I feel? A little strange, but all-in-all okay.

"I'm not sure?" My hand shot up to my mouth, covering it after I spoke.

What happened to my voice? I didn't sound like me. My voice was, musical almost? Could the bite have caused some vocal damage?

I jumped off the bed and ran to the mirror hanging on the opposite wall. I got there in a split second, faster than normal.

I stood there in shock, just looking at myself. It was me, but I didn't look like me.

What happened to me?

I had the same pale skin that both Edward and Carlisle had.

Although, my eyes didn't match theirs; mine were a bright crimson red. I could see everything with such clarity. I could see each fiber of dust as it slowly passed by me, every thread that was woven together to form the dress I was put in, even the tiny spider in the web above the bookshelf on the opposite side of the room.

I could smell the strong scent of honey, lilacs, roses, orange blossom, and the sun; even though there were no flowers in the room nor was there a window open.

I could hear voices coming from another room in the house so clearly even though the door was halfway shut.

"Do you think she's awake? What if she doesn't like the dress?" A musical pixie voice asks.

A calmer voice countered, "In due time, love. I'm sure she'll like the dress fine."

Who were they?

After taking in a quick gulp of warm air, I realized it felt unusually strange. Then it registered that the action was not needed. My lungs were not waiting for it.

"What happened to me? What's going on? Who are you people?" I asked turning to face Edward and Carlisle.

Before I could even blink my eyes, Edward was standing in front of me. I gasped, the movement was fast and swift, but my eyes caught it all.

"Bella, maybe you should sit down? There's something Carlisle and I have to talk to you about." He said in a soft voice, looking me in my eyes.

I looked back and forth between the two of them. Carlisle had an apologetic look on his face as he lifted a hand toward a small black chair with a deep red cushion seat, almost matching my eyes, motioning me to sit.

I walked to the chair and slowly sat down, mentally bracing myself for what they might tell me. All the while keeping my eyes locked on Edwards.

I felt my breath catch in my throat as I waited for an explanation as to why I was there, and what was going on.

It felt like an eternity passed before anyone spoke.

Carlisle and Edward exchanged a sort of "Here We Go" glance before Carlisle turned to me. I knew that look. It was the same look my parents exchanged when they told me about their divorce and then again when my grandmother died. I knew this was not good, and it was gonna be big.

"Bella, I know this may be a little difficult for you to understand at first, but Edward and I will be here to help you with whatever you need. You see," He started slowly, "the night Edward found you on the street, you had been bitten…by a vampire. Edward ran him off,"

"Wait, wait," I cut him off before he could finish. "What do you mean I was bitten by a…a _vampire?"_

I had difficulty saying the word.

"Like, _'can't go out in sunlight' _vampires?" I just looked back and forth between the two. Carlisle glanced in Edwards direction. Edward nodded, as if giving the _'ok' _to keep going.

"Like I said Bella, I know it's hard to understand. Please let me try to explain." Carlisle continued in an understanding voice, kind of father-like.

I could feel Edward staring at me.

I waited.


	9. Too Much

_**CHAPTER 9: Too Much (Bella POV)**_

_I could feel Edward staring at me._

_I waited. _

**xxxxx**

"After Edward found you, he brought you to the hospital that way I could examine you. I felt it would be safer for all of us, my family included, for you to be moved to our home; in case anyone at the hospital got too curious. The transformation; the burning sensation you felt, took about three days."

'I've been here for three days?' I quietly asked myself while Carlisle patiently continued.

"The lesion you sustained is what caused this. Vampire saliva carries a poison within it. Venom. Much like a snake bite. It causes you an immense amount of pain; the burning. It causes your heart to stop and insides to '_die_'. Blood is replaced with venom in your veins. All your senses are heightened. Edward stayed with you to keep an eye on you."

I turned back to look at the astonishingly beautiful stranger who saved me once again, but with more gratitude in my eyes and on my expression.

Edward glanced up at me, catching my gaze for what felt like a lifetime, then continued looking down. I didn't understand the expression on his face.

Carlisle continued as I turned back to face him. "The vampire who bit you; he was a drifter, we don't know who he was? I'm sorry."

He turned to look back at Edward before he began once more, another nod as he stared at the floor.

"The most important thing you have to understand Bella, is that the next year will be the most difficult."

He said, his voice more concerned than before, almost afraid for me. The look on his face also gave off the feel of concern.

Edward stood in his place, silent and still.

Carlisle walked towards me, sat in the chair besides me besides me and took my hand in his as he began to speak again. "You will need to feed every two days or so."

The look on his face became very serious, as Edwards became very pained. My eyes fluttered between the two, Edward never looked up at me; he seemed to have become even more still. He looked like a perfectly sculpted statue.

"You will be drawn to the scent of humans; to the scent of their blood." Carlisle said as he looked down.

"You can try to resist the urge to hunt humans. But for newborns it's hard, very hard. The blood lust takes all control. It's as if your mind blocks out everything but the blood that calls out to you."

Carlisle looked ashamed for a moment, then got an optimistic look.

"However, my family and I have learned to survive a different way. We feed on the blood of animals; it's not as potent as human blood, but we manage just fine. We can teach you, to hunt and feed the way we do. My family and I have discussed it and are willing to take you in and help you with this."

He looked proud as he spoke of his family.

"The choice is yours to make. But please know this," he looked right into my eyes as he said this, "It will be very difficult to be on your own. You _will_ need to hunt and you _will _feed on humans if you can't control yourself."

I couldn't grasp what he was telling me. I couldn't believe it. How could this happen to me?

I stood up from the chair and began to pace around the room. Edwards head lifted a bit in order to look at me, but his eyes never fully reached mine; his face still pained.

I don't know why but it hurt me to see him like that. It must have something to do with the change, I don't even know him. How could I possibly feel this way for someone I just met?

There were so many things going through my mind. What was I going to do? I wouldn't really want to kill innocent people, would I? Would I kill someone in order to drink their blood that way _I_ would survive?

My breathing began to quicken; I felt as if I were having a panic attack, but I knew that wasn't possible. Now that I was a vampire I was dead on the inside, therefore I had no heart beat to over work with a panic attack.

After a short while, Carlisle stood and walked over to me, "Bella? Are you okay?"

My breath caught in my throat, I had to think before I could answer; Was I okay? At the moment: No, I was defiantly _not_ okay. Would I be okay? To that I didn't know the answer.

"Bella?" Edward finally spoke while looking at me questionably.

I looked up at him as I stopped pacing. I could feel his eyes burning deep into mine, those beautiful honey colored eyes. Eyes that would help me understand what I was if that's what I wanted.

But at this particular moment I felt like I needed to be alone. To catch my breath - or so to speak. This was all too much.

I looked back at Carlisle then turned to Edward once more before speaking. "I'm sorry I can't do this. I'm sorry. Thank you, thank you both, for everything, but I have to go."

And with that I fled the room. I quickly ran down the hallway and came to a spiraling staircase. When I reached the bottom step, there were five curious sets of honey colored eyes staring at me, each with a puzzled look.

"Excuse me. I'm sorry." I said as I ran out the front door. I ran away as fast as I could.

**xxxxx**

**A/N: I just wanted to say thank you to all those who are continuing to read and to those who have tagged along somewhere along the way. I hope you all are enjoying it :) Much Love -Cherie-**


	10. First Night

**CHAPTER 10: First Night (Bella POV)**

_"Excuse me. I'm sorry." I said as I ran out the front door. I ran away as fast as I could._

**xxxxx**

The way the wind moved around me was exhilarating. I could see every detail; the detail of the bark on the trees, each beautifully colored petal on the wild flowers, each drop of dew that lightly sat on each intricately woven strand of silk of a spiders web, even though I was running at the speed of light. I waited for my breathing to change, but it didn't. It never indicated any effort. This was defiantly something that was part of my changing. No mere human could run this fast or see this clearly.

Then there were my other senses. My hearing was incredible. I could hear everything; from the insects crawling along the floor in the woods, to the sounds of cars passing on the highway, which had to have been about a mile out.

I could feel the leaves and twigs snap beneath my weight. The feel of the silk dress on my skin was so light, almost feather like. Weightless. The fabric felt so flimsy between my fingers like I could tear it with the smallest movement.

The smells were so much different than before. Stronger, more potent. I could smell wild flowers, the trees, the water from a nearby creek. Then suddenly a smell so strong hit me like a brick wall. I couldn't identify it, but was strongly attracted to it.

I felt my eyes close as I inhaled deeply through my nose. The next feeling I got was a dry, burning, scratchy feel in the back of my throat. My muscles tensed and my mouth watered, filling with a saliva-like liquid, but the after taste was unlike anything I'd ever tasted. It was very bitter, almost like vinegar. This must be what Carlisle told me about; the venom.

My eyes were still closed as I felt my feet pulling me in the direction of the smell. Soon I was running at full speed. The smell was becoming stronger, sweet yet tangy. I could feel that I was getting closer. I had reached the edge of the woods. The nearest sign read "SEATTLE". There were people everywhere.

Once again my muscles tensed up and my mouth began to water. I clutched a tree trunk to hold myself in place. It didn't do much. I could hear it snap beneath my grip. I could feel my fingers dig into the thick wooden trunk as though it were butter. It wasn't enough to keep me in my place.

Soon I had slowly made my way from the trees edge onto a small street with dim lighting and little commotion. I felt a small tinge of deja-vu, like I had been here before. But couldn't figure out when or even if I had been here? I tried to think back but it was almost as if all my memories I had from before I woke up in Edwards home were blurry and vivid. They were sketchy and missing pieces.

I felt myself getting easily distracted. My mind kept shifting from the thoughts I was having; of Edward, of my life before this and the sweet smell that pulled me closer and closer to the street. Soon it was all I could think about. The smell was so strong. I could almost taste and feel a warm copper liquid filling my mouth and sliding down my throat. My mouth began to water uncontrollably at the thought.

As soon as I realized that I was now on the street, wondering aimlessly past the store fronts, the wind shifted so quickly and a new smell hit me with full force. Catching my undivided attention. I began to walk toward the strong new smell. _This_ smell was different; still coppery so I knew it's still blood I'm drawn to. But this one has a woodsy smell, like a mixture of Sitka spruce trees, dirt, ferns and motor oil; yet still desirable. Strange.

I was getting closer and closer to someone. Someone with a medium build, broad shoulders, short black hair and stained blue jeans.

I began to walk faster; getting closer with every step. I was moving so fast; no one around me even knew I was there.

The stranger turned into a small alley; I followed. He must have noticed me following him because the minute I turned into the alley way he was stopped just a few yards ahead of me. I stopped and looked for a split second then began to walk forward.

Being in the alley, in a walled in space, made the smell stronger. It bounced off the walls and hit my face like a wrecking ball; intensifying the burning. My muscles tensed, my mouth watered, my throat burned. I yearned for it. I needed it.

Again I walked forward but was stopped short when he turned around. I froze in place even though neither one of us could see each other fully, I could tell he was looking at me dead in the face.

Then, he spoke, "Who are you? What do you want?" He asked in a stern voice.

I took another step closer, testing my prey.

"Don't come any closer."

I stopped and just looked at the person before me.

"Answer me! Who are you? And why the hell are you following me?"

I couldn't take it anymore. My throat was on fire and my mouth was overflowing with venom. I crouched down into a pouncing position and sauntered forward. A sharp hiss escaped my lips. I was slightly startled by this noise I had jus created; but not enough to redirect my focus from what I so badly wanted. From what I needed.

"Stop right there!" The voice ordered loudly. It made my blood boil with hunger.

I stopped where I was and wondered for a sixteenth of a second. My predatory side took over and another hiss built inside of me. I lunged for my prey.

Before I knew it, I had the tall, russet colored skinned male pinned against a wall. A growl escaped my chest this time.

I grabbed his face and tilted his head to the right. He struggled and fought back. He pushed me back with enough force to make me take a couple of steps back. I wasn't giving up, I wanted this. Badly.

I took two steps forward. Just then, a beam of light from a distant building shined down on my face. Enough light for my prey to see me. I heard him gasp.

"Bella?" A shocked voice spoke.

Did I know this person? Who was it?

The shadowed voice took a couple of steps forward, slowly. "Bella? Is that you?" The tone was now a pleasant, husky voice.

The next thing I saw were a set of brown eyes. I felt as if I knew this person who had such a sweet smell. A strong, potent smell. One that my mind couldn't be derailed from even for a second as I tried to figure out how he knew me and if I knew him. One I wanted to taste.

"Who are you?" I cautiously asked as I took a small step forward towards the delicious scent.

"Bella!" He stepped forward, grabbed my arm, and pulled me close, then lifted me off my feet by my waist into a hot embrace.

I was quickly engulfed in the thick aroma that his warm blood flowing within his veins beneath his russet skin was letting off. My head was swimming in it. Again I had trouble focusing on anything other than the smell I was surrounded in.

I felt my mouth begin to open and my head slowly tilt toward the exposed flesh of his neck. I could practically see his jugular vein pulsating beneath the thin veil of flesh.

'So easily accessible for my teeth.' I thought.

But then I noticed, something was off. His essence didn't smell as the other humans I passed on the street. Tainted? There was almost an animal tinge to him. My mind got distracted again as I tried to detect and determine the odd smell. He spoke and his voice pulled me from my thoughts and back to the situation at hand.

"Bella what's going on? Where have you been? I came to your apartment a couple of nights ago and you weren't there. I've gone back every night since then and nothing." he said as he set me down.

I looked at his face to see if I would recognize who he was. A couple of pictures of the guy quickly flashed in my mind. Things I caught were vivid memories of he and I together; holding hands, kissing, talking and walking along a beach. They were brief. Except the last one... "Jacob".

**xxxxx**

**A/N: Hope you all enjoy. And please review, I love to hear what you all think. Much Love -Cherie-**


	11. The Past Comes Back

**CHAPTER 11: The Past Comes Back (BELLA POV)**

_I looked at his face to see if I would recognize who he was. A couple of pictures of the guy quickly flashed in my mind. Things I caught were vivid memories of he and I together; holding hands, kissing, talking and walking along a beach. They were brief. Except the last one... "Jacob". _

**xxxxx**

I stood there in disbelief. It was Jacob, my ex-boyfriend! The smell that I was so attracted to; the person I was trying to drain the life from was Jacob! That sweet, mouthwatering scent belonged to _my _Jacob! I couldn't believe it! I felt sick to my stomach.

Jacob Black and I had known each other since we were kids. Our fathers were best friends, so naturally we were friends. We grew up together. We finally ended up getting together in Junior High and stayed together up until about three months ago. That's when I decided to move up to Forks, right after High School.

Jacob was already ready to settle down, get married and have kids; go house hunting and buy a dog - to start a family. He had so many plans for us. I didn't want that. I wasn't ready for it yet, so I broke it off with him and moved. I hadn't talked to him since then. He called and e-mailed a couple of times but I could never bring myself to answer.

I loved -love- Jacob but, I always felt like something was missing with us. I always thought that if you loved someone, truly loved someone, you felt complete; not like something was missing. I didn't feel that way with him. I decided it was only fair to leave him before I hurt him more.

And now here I was standing face to face with Jacob ready to kill him! How could I? What was I thinking? That's just it - I wasn't. This is exactly what Carlisle warned me about. Blood lust. I had to get away from him before I did something I was sure I'd regret.

I cleared my mind and turned to walk away, but Jacob quickly caught my wrist and swung me around to face him.

"Bella wait, where are you going? I need to talk to you please." He looked at me intently.

I couldn't look at him. "I'm sorry Jacob, I can't do this right now. Please let me go." I tugged my wrist, he didn't let go.

"Bella. Please. Please, whatever it is I did, I'm sorry. Please let me try and fix this. Please Bella, I love you. Please." He was begging, and I could hear the pain in his voice as he spoke.

Even if I did want to work things out with him, there's no way this would work now. I tried to reason with him, "It's not you, it's me. This just wont work."

"What are you talking about? I can fix this. Please Bella, for me."

I looked him in the eye and put more force and even more anger behind my words, "Jake, let me go."

He noticed. I could feel it even before he said anything.

"Why? Bella, your eyes. What's wrong? What happened to you? Who did this to you?"

Now it was my turn to do the begging. "Please Jake. Let go. Leave here, go back to La Push and don't come back, or your gonna get hurt. It's for your own safety - for your own good." I yanked my hand away with more force, and turned to walk away. He stayed frozen in his place.

"Wait Bella, what's going on? Bella!" he continued to call out to me.

I could feel his eyes glued to my quickly disappearing figure as I left. He just stood there in that dark alley. As I turned the corner onto the vacant street, I noticed that his scent was fading and others hit me. But they weren't as strong.

Either way, thirst or no thirst, my mind didn't settle there on that thought for too long. Soon my mind was flooded with memories. Memories of me and Jacob. Many from when we were kids, of when our fathers would take us out to the lake. They fished and we made mud pies for each other.

Then they shifted to memories from High School, when things got serious. When things like our "anniversary" and Valentine's Day started to matter. Every year Jake would give me a box of Conversational Hearts for Valentine's Day. It was a little reminder of when Jake first told me he had feelings for me - as more than friends.

Finally, ones from the last month. I could remember how I started to pull away from him. The day I told him that this was not what I wanted. The image of his face felt like it had been burned into my brain.

Next came the emotions. Emotions I felt were somehow strange and unknown. I thought I felt like I wanted to cry. But I didn't know THIS feeling. Nothing was happening? No salty tears filled and stung my eyes. My breathing did not increase and then eventually become uneven? Everything stayed the same. I was just there, stuck remembering.

I had to get away from it all. Just get away. I let my feet carry me without my mind taking control. I could feel the wind pass over my face so quickly with each step I took. As it passed I let it take the memories and emotions with it. It was freeing, to an extent. I couldn't escape it all of course.

As my mind slowed the events from the alley came back. I couldn't get over what just happened. But, I did feel just a little bit better knowing I was a good distance away from him. While running I had unknowingly put a couple of states between us, the last sign I saw read "MICHIGAN". I couldn't hurt him if I was here. And there's no possible way he could have followed me.

Now, the question is; would Jake heed my warning and go back home and stay away? Or would he come back again looking for me, for explanations? And if he did, would I be able to stop myself? He got lucky tonight. Real lucky. We both did. What would I have done if I would have bit him? I didn't though. I had to focus on that.

I didn't. I was able to control myself. I guess the need for blood isn't as strong right now? Maybe I could do this on my own? Maybe I didn't need any help after all?

**XXXXX**

**A/N: Hi to all those still reading and welcome to all those who have begun to tag along. I hope you are all enjoying this one. I'm not a big Jake fan but I figured I'd be nice enough to give him his 2 seconds in my fic so, there ya go. I again, as always, would like to apologize for my prolonged absence. I'm working on it I promise. As always I love to hear what you guys think so leave me a review! Much Love -Cherie-**


	12. All Alone

**CHAPTER 12: All Alone (BELLA POV)**

_I didn't. I was able to control myself. I guess the need for blood isn't as strong right now? Maybe I could do this on my own? Maybe I didn't need any help after all?_

**xxxxx**

Just to be on the safe side, I decided to stay here in Michigan for the night; give Jacob a chance to leave. Maybe I'd stay longer? I found an abandoned house on the outskirts of the city. I'd stay here; lay low, away from people till I decided on what I'd do.

There were so many questions I had unanswered. I didn't feel tired. Would I ever fell tired again? Would I want to sleep? What would I do in the morning? Morning meant sunlight. And if all the myths and movies were right - sunlight meant death! And I wasn't ready to be incinerated and reduced to ash just yet. A part of me wishes I would have stayed with Dr. Cullen just a little bit longer than I had. At least long enough for the key questions to have answers to. Oh well, I was on my own now; too late to go back. I guess I was confined here for longer than I thought.

The hours passed very slowly. With all my free time I had my mind had plenty of time to wonder about things. Things like Dr. Cullen and his family. How they lived. About their lifestyle. They had chosen to live different from the typical '_Vampire_' stereotype. Apparently it worked just fine for them.

What about me? Could I be the same? Could I be this...this monster without actually hurting anybody? I would rather not hurt anybody or anything, but if I had to choose; I would not want to hurt an innocent person.

Before I knew it the sun was starting to rise. I found a large room, probably the master bedroom, at the back the house and decided I'd wait it out in there. It was dark and shaded, but I could see as if I were standing outside in mid-day while the sun was at it highest. It was so dark in here due to the boarded windows and thick, torn and tattered maroon colored curtains that still hung in place. There was a small square wooden table in the corner of the room and a single chair beside it. Small, thin beams of sun began to stream through the cracks of the boards and holes of the curtains as the sun began to rise. I started to get curious. What if the myths are wrong? What if the sun wasn't harmful to me? All of the sudden I got a small urge to test my new theory and I noticed my pointer finger was extended in front of me about to be put into the stream of light. My brain caught up with my action and I jerked my arm back to my side. _"Stupid! You could have just lost your finger."_ I silently chided myself as I looked at the streams of light. I figured I'd just sit here and try to figure things out. Things were different now and if I was doing this on my own then I need to get things strait.

I knew how the new speed thing worked, that one wasn't hard to figure out. Now vision; that one still had my mind boggled. That and the hearing. I could see _everything_. I could hear _everything_. I could see every detail of everything around me. It was as if everything seen through my eyes as a human was clouded. The clarity was memorizing. I loved that I didn't have to struggle to see, hear, or smell anything. However some of the smells were a little off and smelled...kind of gross now. Such as the smell of the food being made in restaurants I passed on my way here. Pizza _used_ to be one of my favorite foods - I think - now it just smelled...repulsive! This was gonna take some getting used to.

Again, as I sat here, the hours moved slowly . I was all alone and getting bored. You can only closely look at and over analyze the leaves on trees and the snow on the ground for so long.

Thinking about how disjointedly time seemed to flow, passing in a blur at times, with single images standing out more clearly than others. And then, at other times, every second was significant, etched in my mind. I knew exactly what caused the difference and it disturbed me.

My mind wandered back to the Cullens. This time it focused more on a set of honey colored eyes. Ones that seemed to have a strong effect on me. Some kind of hold? Edward. I got a funny feeling inside at the very thought of him. I felt strangely connected to him in some way. Maybe it was because he was the one who found me? He helped me. That had to be it. What else could it be?

I couldn't think about it anymore so I began to listen to the cars pass by. People returning home from work; making it some time between mid-day to early evening. The sun would be going down soon. Night fall. I'd be able to go outside. But to do what? Feed? I didn't feel...hungry?

Wow, hungry...really? I didn't even know how to refer to what would be my new eating habit? "Hunger"? I would be biting into something? or "Thirst?" Because technically I'm drinking it? My mind had it's own quick internal argument. I was getting frustrated with myself. If only I'd of stayed I'd know what to do, of what's suppose to happen next.

Maybe I should go back? Maybe I did need help? Maybe tomorrow I'd go back? Back for help. Help from Dr. Cullen. And Edward. Yes, they'd help me. I'd stay here for just one more day - to be absolutely sure Jake left. I'd be fine for one more day. No problem.

I decided to go for a walk now that it was dark out, get my head on right before I go back. Figure out what exactly I wanted answered, what I needed to know, and what I needed help with.

It was nice out. A few snow flurries fell here and there. It smelled so clean and fresh out here. I could see each and every crystal of the flurries as they fell from the sky. It was very relaxing. I felt as though I had no worries in the world. Then, it happened.

I had gotten too close to the city. Some part that was busy but not too alive for that particular time of night. There were a few people out but not many. The wind had picked up therefore my nose caught a few new scents making the air no longer clear and clean. It was polluted with the different scents of the people walking in the same vicinity as me. Once again I could feel my muscles tense tighter and tighter with each step I took. I felt as though someone might notice me salivating uncontrollably so much venom was flowing in my mouth.

Next came a very new, very unfamiliar feeling. One I had not yet had since my change. My muscles in my stomach tensed up, causing my stomach to turn into what felt like a solid rock in side of me. It was very painful. It was twisting and turning and wouldn't stop. All my muscles throughout my body continued to stay rigid.

I kept moving, trying to return to the abandoned house. The smell of the people I passed made me realize exactly how thirsty I was, but that was the last thing I realized. My brain was shutting down completely. There was nothing but fiery pain in my throat and the delicious blood-blood everywhere-promising to put out that fire.

I had made it out of the city lights, back into the emptiness. However, I noticed this time I was not alone. There, in a nearby alley were barrels glowing with fire, creating dancing abstract shadows on the walls. There was someone there. I cautiously inhaled through my nose. There it was; the tangy copper smell. Rust and salt. I could pin point the smell better. My stomach muscles became tight again, I saw movement in the alley. I inhaled again - more tensing muscles and plenty of venom. There was only one. An open invitation. As I began to walk forward I felt my mind go blank, as if something turned off and something completely different took over. Then, everything went black...

I was moving quickly, closing in on the frightened man who was now cowering down against the wall with the look of absolute terror on his face. It was pale white, like he'd seen a ghost. All the blood drained.

I lunged for him, easily pinning him to the wall as I held him in place. His struggles were nothing, effortless to my new found strength. I was calmly able to subdue the heavy set man with a simple twist of his neck. The loud snap gave sufficient proof. His lifeless body fell to the floor.

I hovered for a moment before kneeling down. I inhaled deeply. Ah yes, this was it. THIS was what I wanted. The scent was maddening.

Slowly I brought the mans neck closely to my mouth, I could still feel his body heat radiating from him. I felt my lips part, my teeth exposed. Next I felt the mans warm flesh upon my lips, then my teeth carelessly sank in. They broke the skin so easily. It felt delicate and yielding, like silk.

The blood began to flow free. It was warm, smooth, not too thick but not water like either. Creamy. The taste was unexpected; coppery and tangy like the smell but, I welcomed it. I needed it. It felt like velvet as it filled my mouth and slid ever so slowly down my throat.

I could tell when it reached my stomach, there was no longer a rock there, it was gone. My hunger had been satisfied...for now.

**XXXXX**

**A/N: First off, thank you so much for all the reviews I have recieved. It lets me know that you are all waiting for more. And dont worry, it's coming. I'm going to try to post at least one chapter every night until this site is caught up with the other I post on. But no promises. RL is very hectic right now and I'm struggling so just bare with me. But continue to review, I love em :) **

**Now that that's out of the way, what did we think of Bella's primitive side? Just a taste of whats to come...**


	13. Edward's Return

**CHAPTER 13: Edwards Return (Carlisle's POV)**

Edward, my eldest son. It pains me to see him go through this. I've seen him endure all these years of solitude and then to have him find his mate, only for her to leave. I don't know how to help him with this? He's in such agony.

He's isolated himself from the rest of the family. He stays up in his room all day - alone. Edward was never as lively as the others, however, he was not secluded either.

Within the mere three days that Bella was here, I could tell something had changed within him. It seemed as though something had been awakened, something that had been dormant for almost a century, at just the thought of them possibly being able to be together. Now, that was gone. She took that life, that light, with her when she left here. Now he's just here.

He used to interact with the rest of us. If not composing and filling our home with beautiful melodies, he - along with my other two sons - would go camping. We all as a family would go out. Now, he can't be bothered. I've tried speaking with him, but that seems only to agitate him more. I thought that maybe the entire week he took to himself was maybe for him to clear his thoughts. Get some perspective? Perhaps come to terms with the fact that she had left.

Unfortunately, that's not what he did. When he finally did return home, my devoted wife, Esme, was waiting for him to enter. That's when he told us what he'd done while he was away. I remember the look in his eyes, the sound of his voice, the blank stare on his face; the emptiness within.

"Edward." Esme breathed a sigh of relief as she wrapped her arms around him. Edward slightly pulled away; enough for her to notice but not enough for her to let go. "Where have you been? Are you okay?" Her voice was frantic, worried and cracking as though she might cry even though it was not possible.

I stood silent by her side, as we both waited for Edward to explain the reason for his prolonged absence. I tried to keep my mind clear of all thoughts of the previous week, not wanting to overwhelm him with my silent questions and concerns. I could see it in his expression as he looked off into the distance that he did not wish to explain. Even his stance let off the feel of frustration and annoyance. He looked like a shadow of his former self. In so much pain. I could see the muscles flex in his jaw and hear his teeth as he ground them together and slightly shift his weight from one foot to the other, a nervous human tick we've picked up over the years.

"Edward," I spoke silently, softly, in an attempt to not make him anymore uneasy. His head lifted just a portion of an inch at the sound of his name, then snapped up completely to look Esme in her eyes.

"Mom,"

I could feel her melt in that small moment. She couldn't love him anymore than if he were actually her own flesh and blood.

His voice was light, weak, as if all the life had been knocked right out of him. "I'm fine." He pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around _her _this time. "I'm sorry I left so unexpectedly and was gone so long. And I'm truly sorry I made you worry." He paused, deliberating as whether or not to continue as he released her. Her brow furrowed as she again started to worry due to his expression.

"I'm fine, honestly." He spoke quietly as if not wanting to alert the others to his return. However, that was a lost cause and he knew it. Any vampire within a mile radius would have heard his words. None the less, even if we didn't have a heightened sense of hearing, there's absolutely no way to keep anything from our daughter Alice.

With her gift, her ability to see mere glimpses into the future, either near or distant, she'd know what was coming. She'd been '_looking_' for him since he left, but was never able to get a good hold on him. His decisions were made spur of the moment. And that made it hard for Alice to see what was to happen next. I knew she'd be listening from another room, waiting for a safe moment to appear. And so did Edward.

"When I left, I wasn't sure where I was going. At first it was just to clear my head, then I found that I couldn't bring myself to come back. It was too much. Then as I was running, I decided to go looking...for her. I wondered along the street, meticulously searching, breathing in the air, hoping to find the scent I so desperately desired. I also began to carefully search through the minds of passing strangers on the sidewalk. Looking for any small detail or memory of her. Perhaps someone noticed her. The dress maybe? I found nothing. I then decided to get away for a while. I didn't know where, just get away."

"Edward?" Alice had finally spoke as she entered the room. He turned only his head an inch in her direction. All he did was nod. We all got a little frustrated when they had these private conversations. But it seemed to make us all a little more unsettled than usual at that particular moment due to the circumstances. As the seconds passed, there were a few more nods and shakes of Edwards head then Alice's worried expression seemed to relax into a face of relief. He then turned to Esme and I, and continued to explain.

"I ended up in Paris. I needed time to myself, to think, to understand. Understand why she left. I realize now that she may need some time also. If she returns then perhaps we can make this work. And if she doesn't..." He stopped there and his body became a statue. He didn't finish his thought and I could almost see another dose of pain bleed into his very dark, pitch black eyes.

"Edward, it's fine, son. We don't need to do this now. This is going to work out for the best. You _deserve _happiness. Fate owes you that." I said to him silently as I tried to comfort him as best I could.

"Please forgive me, but if you don't mind, I think it would be best if I was alone right now." He then turned and calmly walked through the dining room and through an opening in the glass wall that lined the entire south side of our home. His figure was lost in the tall green forest wall just before the river. Alice, Esme, and I stood silent for a short moment.

A serene feeling then filled the room as Jasper entered. No doubt trying to finally put us all at ease now that Edward had returned. Alice turned to Jasper, gave him a small smile as she took his hand and led him outside. I'm sure he's also very happy that Edward is home. Now he no longer has to watch his mate distracted and distraught to a degree worrying about her brother. Alice and Edward are very close, so naturally she'd been worried about him while he was away.

Once the two were out of initial sight I turned to _my _mate. Her face once again worried for our son. "Oh Carlisle. I can't bare to see him so unhappy. He looks utterly miserable. I hate to see him suffering so. Edward deserves happiness. He's _owed _it! There must be a way? WE must find a way."

"Yes, there may be a way, but we are not sure how much he wishes for us to be involved? We don't want to upset him further."

"No, I don't wish to cause him anymore sadness."

"What if I could find her? Maybe talk to her - explain things thoroughly? Perhaps she'd be willing to come back?"

"Do you think she would?" Esme's eyes began to slightly brighten a portion even though I thought her eyes could not get any lighter than the beautiful topaz color they were today. All she wanted, all she's ever wanted, was our family to be whole and happy.

"Perhaps I should speak with Edward? He may want to join me? Or if he thinks we should just stay, then we stay and help him cope through this time."

"Yes dear, go to him. Maybe you could take Alice and Jasper just in case. Alice can help explain things to him, you know how he takes into consideration all she says. And Jasper can keep the situation under control. Calm."

"Okay, I'll go." With a quick kiss on her soft cheek, I left Esme and headed to my office to speak with Alice and Jasper.

**XXXXX**

**A/N: Hello all my readers. I am back with more chapters for ya'll. I apologize for my absence and hope ya'll are still with me. When I was writing this chapter I thought it would be a little different to see things from someone else's eyes besides Edward and Bella. An outsiders look on things. Anywho, I hope ya'll enjoyed this and I should have more coming within the next few days. Thanks again & much love -Cherie-**


	14. Decision

**CHAPTER 14: Decision (Carlisle's POV)**

_"Okay, I'll go." With a quick kiss on her soft cheek, I left Esme and headed to my office to speak with Alice __and Jasper._

**xxxxx**

"Alice, Jasper?" I called from behind my desk without having to raise my voice in the slightest.

"Yes Carlisle?" Jasper spoke as he led Alice through the door frame, his hand lightly placed on the small of her back.

Although I was more than one hundred percent certain Alice could have filled him in along the way to the office, she let me explain my plans aloud. "As I'm sure you've noticed, it upsets Esme quit a bit to see Edward in his current state. I've decided to talk to him about Bella. She's a newborn and she needs help. Not to mention, she's Edwards mate and here is where she belongs. If I know my son like I believe I do, it won't take much to persuade him into looking for her if he's reminded of the dangers of being a newborn and on your own. The dangers it presents for her as well as us, if she attracts the Volturi. How easily something could go wrong. I don't think he'll go on his own, he will need a small nudge. Of course, Alice, I would need your help tracking her down, but also reasoning with Edward. And Jasper any help you can give to keep him calm if needed is much appreciated. You know he has a temper at times."

"Absolutely." Alice chimed in excitedly. "Whatever you need Carlisle." Jasper answered with a nod.

Jasper, Alice, and our son Emmett were the most understanding when the Edward and Bella situation was discussed after Bella came here. Our other daughter Rosalie, however, was not so easily convinced. She saw Bella as a threat. A newborn who barged into the family and could possibly cause a lot of trouble. Attract unnecessary attention if she could not be controlled, as most newborns were usually hard to control. This is where her concern derived. We had a long family discussion as to whether or not we should take Bella in when she first arrived.

_"Why should we! She could cause all sorts of problems for us!" _

_"Rosalie, you can't expect us to just look the other way. If we leave her be, she 's bound to cause more problems. We can't leave a newborn loose in the city to reek havoc and just stand by and watch." _

_"And if she slips up? People will come looking. Carlisle, she's a danger to us! I'm not ready to leave, we _just_got here!" _

_"I understand your concern Rose but I believe this is for the best." _

_"For us? Or for _him_!" Her words were acid as she spoke, shooting a death stare in Edward's direction, who was far too distracted with thoughts of the young beauty upstairs to be bothered by Rosalie's angry tone. All he did was look back. Edward and Rosalie have always had a complicated relationship. _

_"Babe, relax." Emmett finally spoke as he put his arm around Rosalie. She responded by rolling her eyes and folding her arms across her chest, continuing to stare down Edward. She was very upset with the fact that Emmett had no problem with Bella being or staying here with us. _

_Rosalie spit out with every ounce of anger in her body, "But she's so _ordinary_! I don't see what the big deal is over _her_?" _

"When should we talk to Edward?" Jasper asked, pulling me back to the present.

"He's hunting now, releasing some anger. He didn't get out much while he was away. I say we give him a minute." Alice chimed in.

"Right. Okay let's try to figure out where she is Alice." Jasper led her from the room.

I needed to try to figure out what I would say to him. I did not want to upset him. But this needed to be done. For both Bella and Edward's sake. Would he willingly go, or ask me to just stay out of it and leave her gone? I don't think Esme or myself could see him so unhappy for much longer. I stared out the clear, glass window wondering, waiting for the '_OK_' from Alice. What would she see? Would this be easy? No, of course not.

"She's in Michigan. Carlisle, I don't know how this is going to go? She's hard to grab. My visions of her are not very clear. She's so _erratic_." Alice said, a little worried. Which sounded a little odd seeing as how Alice was always confident.

"Is he ready?" I asked.

"He's hunted, a little edgy but not completely unruly."

We met Jasper down stairs, who was waiting patiently at the back door. Esme, Emmett and Rosalie all stood in the living room and watched as we left to find Edward. It wasn't long till we caught Edward's scent in the breeze. It led through the many trees, over the river and stopped in a small clearing. He was perched on a large, seemingly smooth boulder looking off into the evening sky. The sun was setting and it was getting colder.

"Edward. Can we talk?" I began slowly as we approached him, Jasper already trying to calm the atmosphere, and Alice quietly trailing. He didn't turn to acknowledge the three of us. We all stayed silent for a moment, including Edward so I assume no one was speaking to him silently either. I guardedly took another step forward.

"Please, go away."

"Edward please." I spoke calmly, cautiously.

"No. It's over." His voice was weak and empty of all previous life yet had hardened with anger and pain. Alice walked forward, leaving Jasper's side and confidently approached Edward and stood directly in front of him. Jasper again testing the air and making it a bit more relaxed.

Alice's stance and expression was calm, relaxed, obviously speaking to him with her mind. Edward stood as if to leave, all reasoning left Alice's face and was replaced with sheer determination as she began to stare Edward down, blocking his way of escape. "_Turn around_." For a small person, Alice could be quit intimidating when she needed to be. She could make a grown man cower down as if he were a child who just got caught stealing a piece of bubble gum from the pharmacy. "Listen to what Carlisle has to say. _Edward_." Another menacing stare from my petite daughter and my well statured son, willingly and beat, turned in my direction.

I nodded in appreciation as Alice danced her way back to Jasper, a smile set on her face-clearly very pleased with herself. Edward walked over to me, defeated, his eyes wondering, searching for nothing in particular. "Carlisle, Alice says you wish to speak with me?"

"Yes. Please sit." I had to keep extra control on my thoughts as to not think to far ahead in order for Edward to not get the full picture just yet. "I wanted to discuss with you about either the both of us or myself alone, going to look for her." Edwards whole body tensed up at that very word: _her_. He knew precisely who I meant. And I could tell he was going to let me finish explaining. "She's a newborn Edward, and she needs help. If we leave her alone, she could cause many problems, not just for herself but for us as well, people could get suspicious and word could spread throughout our kind and the Volturi would get involved. I don't think you want them involved, do you? You know Jane, _anything _to please Aro. If I could get her to come back with us, we could help her adjust. Show her our way..."

"But _she _left. She made the decision to leave."

"Remember, you left not long after you turned. You were upset, and didn't understand everything, you needed time to yourself. Time to adjust and figure things out. Perhaps Bella needs the same, time to herself. But we can't leave her out there for too long alone. It's not safe for her. If they find her before we do, that could be it for her. And if Aro gets one hand on her he will know we were involved, even if just for a short period, and then soon they will come looking for us."

He squeezed his eyes shut and forced out, "She'll come back if that's what she wants."

"Edward, seriously, stop being so stubborn. She needs you. Are you really going to leave her all alone? She _does _need you. She just doesn't know it yet. But she will. The two of you belong together, you are mates. Help her find her way back, back home to you. Go to her Edward. You love her. Go, before it's too late." As I heard Alice speak, I looked into Edwards eyes. It seemed as though she was breathing the life back into him with every sentence. I could see Edward considering her words. Was this going to work after all? Would he go look for her? Still, he was thinking about it.

"Edward, I do not wish for anything to happen to Bella, but if she is left alone, she will not survive once they have her. And neither your mother or myself could not bare to see you go through that. You need each other. Just think about it. I shall not go if you will me not." And with that I turned to Alice and Jasper and nodded, a silent gesture for us to leave. I turned, Alice followed but Jasper stood for a moment and Edward looked at him.

They stood very still as Jasper spoke silently to him, it was quick and ended with a very warm, love consumed look between Alice and Jasper. "Your mate is not someone you can live without Edward." He then ran to Alice and easily lifted her off her feet into a hug. They led the way home, hand in hand.

**xxxxx**

**A/N: Hello again, as I said in the previous note, there will be more to come in the next few days. So...what did we think of things from Carlisle's eyes? How about Alice? I must say I do like the little 'tude I gave her for the moment :) Hope ya'll will continue to stick with me...Much Love -Cherie-**


End file.
